Highs and Lows

So you know that guy who is kind of gross and sweaty all the time, and a total nerd, but if you talk to him is just a sweet and caring person??

Meet Jack. 

He is that guy in 4 year old form.

This was taken last night; found him all tucked in with his 36in Darth. Kids pick the weirdest things to grow attached to. On the flip side, the T-rex must be removed each night before we leave his room. He doesn't want it given away though. In fact, he wants to "be a t-rex" when he grows up. 

My kids aim high.

Super fun night out last night with my girl Hallie, and some new friends. My biggest take away?? Minivans are not excellent in city parking garages. Talk about sweating. 

Today started in a deep dark horrible place for an unknown reason. Repeat offender Luciana woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and whew can that girl be a bag of tricks. In today's fit of rage she told me my "name should be diaper," and "maybe I should get some new clothes". 

Awesome. 

Kids rock.

This was at about 730 this morning. 

And 7:31..

Cleary, we had offended. 

At this point I went into Dan's office. Had a good cry as I ignored my five year old I feel I have no idea how to parent successfully, and he came out and took over.

Things eventually settled, she responds much better to him. But not before Dan calmly said every time she said or did a nasty thing something got taken away.

To which she swatted him with her crazy straw. 

He took said object and threw it away. Again, always remaining calm. This is key to these moments with her. But oh my goodness. Heartbreak is lucyland. I always hate those consequences that finally hit home with them, but you know it hurts. That's a hard mama moment. 

Anyways, through gritted teeth and tearful eyes she proclaimed, "that was the LAST. STRAW."!!

Instantly both parents in the room break eye contact and bite their lips. Lucy has no understanding of the irony behind her words, but man, it's funny. Funnier now looking back on it. 

With all of this said, please know that we love her. We are so thankful that she is hard headed and has spunk and is so clearly a leader. It's the love we have for her that makes it so overwhelming at times to parent her. We want to teach her how to channel her strengths and become the best version of her. But, there are just bad days. Days where I am so shocked at what comes out of her mouth I just don't know how to handle it. 

Removal of a few more things (including a scheduled playdate- ugh) and a nice long visit with her room greatly improved things. Once she'd calmed down I was able to have a nice gentle talk with her and things were better. 

At this point, nobody had even eaten breakfast. Jack was bellowing from the living room that death was near, and he was "just going to make some iced tea". 

Only the highest nutritional priorities for Jack.

That was my queue to wrap things up with Lucy and tend to the others. Three kids spreads a mama thin sometimes.

Half way through breakfast Violet interrupts with a ridiculous grunt fest. You know what that means.

Guess we should lay off the bananas.

Next sweet oldest nugget gets some piano time in.

Let's be honest, she's definitely no Beethoven, and I'd most highly recommend an electric piano. Headphones are a godsend. 

Sisterly bonding happened for what may be the first time ever.

And then I found the craft Lucy had made earlier. She glued a bunch of trinkets from an event she went to to a piece of paper. 

...And also glued the paper to the counter.

After we dropped that silly crafter off at school we had some time to kill. We walked a bit in the sunshine. Tiny nugget learning her new independent world of walking vs being carried.

They're cuties, right??!

Next we did a favorite game. We load up in the car and take turns deciding which direction to go at each intersection. Jack being the only verbal kiddo had full reign. 

Left it is!! 

This unforeseen event happened next-

Now comes the decision..go home and risk "the transfer" or just keep driving. 

Drive it is!!! 

It was worth it! 

Drove for the entire afternoon, and quite enjoyed myself. The after school chunk of day was certainly better than the morning. Couple icy patches, but all resolved quickly. Jack and Violet bonded.

And Lucy and Ladybird bonded.

If this scene doesn't spell trouble then I don't know what does.

Then Jack built a fort under my knees, while Violet climbed on it.

"Babies don't know what forts are for"

Dad came home and we played catch with the baby.

That's normal, right?? 

Lucy and I reconnected over making smoothies. 

It's actually literally ice cubes and water. All her idea. 

Sounds GREAT.

About this time in the evening I realize I haven't seen the pup in a while. Weird. Call her and she doesn't come. Hmm. 

Not too concerned (she isn't exactly the most obedient animal known to man) I went on taking the garbage out to the garage. 

SURPRISE!!!

Haha, poor Bird. No idea how or when that happened. 

She was a good girl, though- ate all the crumbs and stopped there. 

She's currently snuggled up to me getting her nightly dose of one on one time. 

Though not a perfect day, it ended up alright in the end. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Lucy is "so excited for all of her gifts". 

Uhhh....??

They do however have some treats and a little love note at their breakfast spots waiting for the morning. 

Should be fun! Happy Valentine's Day, and thanks for reading!! 

Keep Calm and Carry On

Back in the day it was flowers and a dinner out, and then my kids got into school..Oh my goodness. They come home with such lavish displays of affection from their other 5 year old friends. I mean really, the creativity each child puts into the ideas behind these cards/gifts/masterpieces is just impressive.

Wait. Let's be honest- the mom behind it all.

Maybe my kids are different, but I am twisting arms to get them to sign their names on 18 different cards. It's torture. Let alone create these beautiful pieces of art for each friend in their universe.

Here are my thoughts-

1. I am not against being creative and going "all out" with your kids. If I have the time and ability I would be the mom sending her kid to school with handmade mittens and a card made of fancy paper "I'm sMITTEN for you". I actually think there is an awesome benefit teaching your kids to be creative, and to put effort into crafts they make for their friends. They appreciate the friendship more, and in turn appreciate the cards they receive more. They've put work into it.

Getting too deep??

2. I am however against the mom competitions that seems to go on. Social media in general is both the single most amazing thing in our lives, and also the most damaging. I feel like people are turning into these fake versions of themselves right in front of their friends' eyes. If you want to be creative for your kiddos' sake- do it. It's awesome, and I try to be when I am able. If you are doing it because you noticed "Mary Smith" did something awesome with her kids. Stop. The thing with social media is that it's making things lopsided. We no longer get to know each other face to face and over a period of time- we just "know" each other by stalking someone's page thoroughly enough to know their favorite meals, and most what annoying habits of others bug them. It puts this odd disconnect in a relationship where you know about them but, really have barely talked.

Back to Valentine's- if your kiddo comes home with a beautiful masterpiece from one of his/her friends don't hold it against that other mom. If we could all be honest with each other we would realize none of us are perfect. We all have our own priorities. That day that mom decided to make cards with her kids, and maybe it was an awesome bonding experience for them. But you know what? Her house is probably a mess. Or her organic dinner didn't get cooked that night. Or she hired someone to come help keep her caught up. I'm not saying this to point out her flaws, but instead to make you (the mom with store bought cut out cards) to not feel bad. Our weaknesses are other people's strengths, and vice versa. It's easy to be annoyed with how "perfect" someone seems to be because they have all the things we don't put together. In reality- they likely just ahve different things together than you. If you flipped the perspective you may very well have all of their weaknesses appear perfect and stable. We all choose what our focus is that day, and we all let something go in exchange. Nobody has everything together, and everyone has different priorities. Sometimes for me- I need to clean my bathrooms but other times I need to color with someone. Each day is different.

With that said- my kids love Valentine's Day. They enjoy showing a little love to their friends and teachers, and honestly it's become a favorite holiday in our house (especially to our gift loving Lucy). I think it's important to show them that love isn't just romance- and at their level this is the perfect time to do it. They have no idea of "romance" and yet they know they feel love towards their friends.

This year I didn't have the ability to go deep into the crafting, but that doesnt mean I lose focus on what it could be for your kiddos. The stage to show thanks and appreciation for the friends and family in their lives. Kids eat that stuff up, and it's our jobs as parents to expose them to its possibilities!

Do it for them though and not for Mary Smith.

And my goodness just be yourself. I'm so sick of this new world of "perfect" mothering. That doesn't exist. Do your best to be the mom you want to be, but don't beat yourself up on the days you just are not hitting the mark. Kiddos are forgiving, adults are the ones who aren't. There is something to be said for keeping your head down and remaining focused on your own family, and what you want for them. We have to balance exposing ourselves to new ideas and experiences, but also staying steady and firm in what we want for our kiddos.

Keep calm and carry on.

Happy Valentine's Day in advance!